<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Quiescence by Cyan_Rain</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855208">Quiescence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyan_Rain/pseuds/Cyan_Rain'>Cyan_Rain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Team</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:02:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyan_Rain/pseuds/Cyan_Rain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the hours and days after the defeat of Ultron, the Avengers have a lot of loose ends to tie up, including what to do about a certain sentient synthezoid and traumatized telepath.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. An Inauspicious Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The helicarrier set down on the circular lake that was still rising in the crater left by Ultron.</p><p>There was still so much to do. They had cleared everyone off the flying city, but debris falling to the ground had destroyed buildings and roads. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were on the ground.</p><p>Natasha found Tony in the helicarrier's control center. He was out of his Iron Man suit, talking on a cell phone.</p><p>"I don't know when I can get back...Yeah, I know. There's gonna be a lot of fallout. We'll do what we can. I gotta go, Pep." He hung up the phone and turned to Nat.</p><p>"Still no word from Bruce," she reported.</p><p>"I'm sure he's fine," Tony said, trying to sound nonchalant, and failing.</p><p>"I take it you're working out how the Stark Humanitarian Fund can be helpful?" she asked, nodding toward the phone in his hand.</p><p>"Yeah. We're flying in emergency food supplies, mobile housing units, and medical supplies."</p><p>"That sounds like a big project."</p><p>"It is. We've also bought an unused field outside Novi Grad to turn into a cemetery. We'll mark the graves of unidentified bodies with transponders linked to a database of photographs of any identifiable features as well as DNA profiles, so when family members come looking for missing people we'll be able to match them and put up proper grave markers as we go."</p><p>"That's going to be important," Nat said dismally.</p><p>"It doesn't seem like enough."</p><p>Nat could tell from his expression what Tony was thinking: this one was all on him. He'd made Ultron. The guilt was eating away at him.</p><p>"Hey, punishing yourself for what you've done wrong isn't going to help anyone. What matters now is what you're going to do right."</p><p>He met her eyes, acknowledging her point. "Thanks." He cleared his throat. "Cap, Thor, and the android are still out clearing rubble and looking for survivors."</p><p>She stepped toward a window. Night had fallen. The search would be more difficult and more dangerous in the dark, but there might be people out there trapped in collapsed buildings in a race against time.</p><p>"What are you going to do with the android?" she asked.</p><p>He shook his head. "I don't know. I feel like that's not really my decision to make."</p><p>Clint came up to them. "Well, you're the one who Frankensteined him into existence, so he kinda is your responsibility."</p><p>"You doing okay?" Nat asked him. She could already tell he wasn't, but wanted to give him a chance to put on some bravado if he wanted.</p><p>"I'll be okay," he answered. "The Maximoff kid...she hasn't left her brother's side since she got here. She's not even crying anymore, she's just sitting there. She says 'no' when I ask if she wants anything to eat, water, a blanket, or to talk, but other than that, she hasn't said a word."</p><p>Another thing to figure out. Wanda Maximoff was now homeless, rudderless, and dangerously powerful. She had helped them save the world, but there were people who would call for her to be locked up for helping Ultron in the first place.</p><p>"Did Pepper say anything about the international response?" she asked Tony.</p><p>"Well, a lot of people aren't going to find out we narrowly averted global destruction until they wake up and turn on the morning news, but I'm guessing the reaction's gonna be...mixed. I think someone might have to take the heat for this."</p><p>Nat wasn't sure if he meant Wanda Maximoff or himself.</p><p>"We should call in Steve and Thor," she said quietly. "I think the Avengers need to have a status update."</p><hr/><p>It was after midnight when Natasha, Tony, Steve, Clint, and Thor took seats around a table in a secure room on the helicarrier.</p><p>Other than Bruce, whose absence was keenly felt, they were the same group that had saved the world from the Chitauri invasion.</p><p>"What's this about?" Steve asked. He didn't object to the meeting, but he felt he should still be on the ground helping with search and rescue.</p><p>"It's about the future of the Avengers," Tony said.</p><p>Steve tensed, suddenly no longer feeling he had somewhere better to be. "What about it?"</p><p>"There's already a lot of blame going around, and once the full damage comes to light, there's going to be more. But if this has taught us anything—and I mean Ultron, Loki's Staff, and what HYDRA was up to—it's that the world is just going to get more dangerous. The technology we have now is a genie that's not going back in its bottle any time soon. I'm willing to put this to a vote, but it's my opinion the world still needs Avengers, whether it wants to admit it or not."</p><p>"Here, here!" Thor agreed. "The only rightful use of strength is in the protection of others."</p><p>"I don't think you're going to get any objections from this table," Steve pointed out.</p><p>"Right. The Avengers are a team. But someone's going to have to be the lightning rod to take the heat off the rest of the team. As you know, I've been trying to go into semi-retirement for years."</p><p>"Are you volunteering to be that lightning rod?" Clint asked.</p><p>"Basically, yeah. I screwed this up. I was so sure, after the dream or hallucination or whatever it was, that I was going to have to do something huge to save the world again, without even understanding it...I didn't... I was wrong. I created Ultron. I'll make a public apology, pay to fix whatever can be fixed, and formally resign from the Avengers, make sure the world knows it wasn't anyone else's fault. Cap, Nat, you have basically been leading this team for a while now; no reason we can't make that official."</p><p>Steve didn't know what to say. While he had blamed Tony for Ultron, mostly for leaving the team in the dark about what he was trying to do, they had been through so much together, and he respected Tony too much to accept his resignation. "This team needs you. The world needs you."</p><p>"The world will still have me. I'm still going to do what I can to make it a better, safer place. I'm just not going to put on a metal suit and fly around anymore."</p><p>Clint spoke up. "My wife's about to have a baby, and today taught me I'm getting too old for this line of work. I'm retiring too."</p><p>"While I am certainly not too old for this line of work and have no intention of giving up my place in this team, I fear I must leave Midgard for some time to learn the truth of what has been revealed to me these past days. Perhaps you might delay your retirement until my return. Otherwise, until the Hulk returns, the Avengers will be a team of two."</p><p>Steve and Natasha glanced at each other.</p><p>"I could persuade Rhodey to fill in. He'd jump at the chance," Tony said.</p><p>Steve immediately thought of Sam. His skills and courage made him a perfect candidate. He'd already proven himself in the fight against HYDRA and the Winter Soldier. "Sam might be talked into joining," he said. "That's four."</p><p>"Why stop there?" Tony asked. "There's a super-powered android currently out there digging people out from under fallen buildings. He's strong, he can fly, he can shoot lasers from his head, and, let's face it, we never would've beat Ultron without him."</p><p>"He was with us against Ultron," Clint said, "but he didn't exactly sound all-in about being one of us."</p><p>"If you are worried about his trustworthiness, I remind you he lifted my hammer," Thor said.</p><p>"I'm not sure. A robot suit, or even a well-behaved robot is one thing. But this thing is an unknown quantity," Nat said.</p><p>Steve thought for a moment. "Seventy years ago, I fought a group of people who denied the humanity of other human beings. People who looked different, thought different, loved different, or followed a different religion were considered sub-human, and not worthy to live. The Nazis were able to do terrible things by denying to themselves that the people they were doing it to had inner lives, inherent worth, or even consciousness. We're in danger of making the same mistake with artificial intelligence. He might be made of vibranium and wires instead of flesh and blood, but from all I've seen, this android can think and feel, just like us, and I'm going to treat him accordingly. He fought beside us. As far as I'm concerned, that already makes him one of us. In a way, he's been one of us for years, as JARVIS. He had our backs. We trusted and relied on him then. Until he gives us a reason not to, I'm trusting him now."</p><p>"The Maximoff kids fought beside us too," Clint stated. "They risked their lives. Pietro sacrificed his life to save others, including me. If that doesn't make someone an Avenger, nothing does."</p><p>"Am I to understand you believe Wanda Maximoff deserves a place on the team as well?" Thor asked.</p><p>"Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying. If she decides to accept it. She's been through a lot. But a sense of belonging, a purpose, and a team to protect might be what she needs right now."</p><p>"If we can get them all on board, that puts the Avengers right back to full strength," Tony said.</p><p>"So you agree on extending the invitation to Wanda?" Steve asked.</p><p>Tony hesitated for a second. "Yeah, I think that's the right call. You?"</p><p>"I'm the one who brought her and Pietro onboard in the first place," he pointed out.</p><p>"There may be legal complications," Nat mused.</p><p>"I'll handle them," Tony stated. "Think Fury will give his stamp of approval?"</p><p>"He was willing to take a chance on me," she answered.</p><p>Steve looked at her questioningly, noting the hesitance in her voice. He didn't know what she'd seen when Wanda attacked her mind back in Johannesburg, but he knew from how she'd acted since that it had been bad. He wouldn't take Wanda on the team if it meant losing Nat. "You won't have a problem working with her, after...?"</p><p>"The Avengers were willing to have me, even after you all found out about the things I've done. Who am I not to give someone else the same chance?" She glanced at Clint as she spoke. He nodded, acknowledging something from their past together.</p><p>"Then are we unanimous?" Steve asked, glancing at Thor.</p><p>He frowned, giving it some thought. "The girl's powers are formidable, and I doubt even she knows their full extent. But we must not forget she allied herself with HYDRA and Ultron of her own free will. She might yet prove a grave threat. Keeping her close allows us to direct her toward the path of right, and be better able to oppose her if she again rejects that path."</p><hr/><p>They had put Pietro in a body bag and taken him to a cold storage room on the helicarrier that had been converted to a morgue. Wanda had wordlessly and thoughtlessly followed, but the corridor to the morgue was busy, and she had been in the way. She had wandered around, feeling like a ghost, until she found a window to stare out. She'd been standing there for hours, stars passing in front of her unfocused eyes.</p><p>Memories of Pietro played through her head. Their childhood, his jokes, his pranks, his daring, the way he teased her but would do anything to protect her.</p><p>She was the only living person with those memories now. She was also the only person who cared. They had been each other's everything, and now there was no one else to mourn for him, and she had no one.</p><p>The sky in the east gradually began to lighten, first a lighter blue, then a rusty orange. The stars faded out.</p><p>"Have you slept?"</p><p>She jumped at the sound of Clint's voice.</p><p>He looked like he hadn't slept either.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Come with me."</p><p>She followed him, confused. She was so sleep-deprived she couldn't walk straight. Or maybe that was the slight sway of the helicarrier on the waves of the new lake.</p><p>She followed Clint into a room with a large table. There was a side table with a coffee maker, paper cups, and a box of various granola bars. She grabbed one at random, tore open the rapper, and ate it in small nibbles. She didn't taste it, and she felt each bite going down her throat and settling as a lump in her stomach.</p><p>It was the first thing she'd eaten since Pietro died, and she hated it, but it took the edge off her gnawing hunger.</p><p>Clint mixed half-and-half and sugar in a cup of coffee and handed it to her. She didn't thank him, but she took it.</p><p>Steve and Natasha entered. Nat joined Clint at the food table and got some coffee. They exchanged some quiet words.</p><p>Steve came to her.</p><p>"I'm so sorry about your brother. I lost my parents when I was a kid, and my best friend in the war. I know what you're going through. I know that doesn't make it better. Your brother's a hero. I know that doesn't make it better either. But what else I know is, even though it might not feel like it right now, you're going to get through this."</p><p>She nodded numbly, but what she wanted to say was, <em>No.</em></p><p>Natasha came over to them. "Did Pietro have any wishes for his remains?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" Wanda asked.</p><p>"Do you know if he wanted to be buried, cremated, donate his body to science?"</p><p>"We never talked about it." Living hand to mouth, they knew they wouldn't have the money for funeral expenses. When they volunteered for HYDRA, they figured if they died they'd just be thrown in a hole somewhere.</p><p>"What do you want to happen to his body?"</p><p>Wanda had a feeling Natasha was trying to be tactful but wasn't sure how.</p><p>"I don't know. I can't afford a funeral."</p><p>"Tony will take care of the expenses. He's bought a field to dedicate as a cemetery for Ultron's victims. We could bury him there."</p><p>Wanda blinked. It still felt so wrong. Wrong that Pietro was dead. Wrong that she was being asked to think about this.</p><p>But he <em>was</em> dead. And she supposed if she didn't decide what to do, Pietro's body would end up in a lab somewhere, cut up to try to figure out how his powers worked.</p><p>She nodded. "Yes. That would be fine."</p><p>"There's somethings else we wanted to talk to you about," Steve said.</p><p>Nat took up the thread. "Tony and Clint are going to be retiring from the Avengers. That means we've got some openings. You interested?"</p><p>Wanda frowned. It took her a moment to figure out what she was asking, and when she did she suspected she might be misunderstanding. "What?"</p><p>"You've proven yourself a hero by fighting Ultron. We want you on the team."</p><p>"You want me to be an Avenger?"</p><p>Clint spoke quietly from behind her. "You stepped out the door. You fought beside us. You're already an Avenger. It's up to you if you want to stick with it."</p><p>"It's not all fighting," Nat said. "We'll train you, you'll have a place to live at Avengers headquarters, the pay's not bad."</p><p>To be an Avenger? A part of the team she'd hated for years? But that hatred had been misplaced, a consequence of their association with Tony Stark. That hatred had poisoned her, led her to HYDRA, to letting Stark take the Staff.</p><p>That hatred had gotten Pietro killed.</p><p>Maybe she could do something good with the powers she'd been given.</p><p>And what were her alternatives? Pietro had been her only family and only friend, and he was gone. The only city she'd ever lived in was destroyed. Was she going to just join the other displaced Sokovians in refugee camps? What if they blamed her for what happened because she'd helped Ultron?</p><p>"You don't need to decide now," Steve said.</p><p>"I'll do it. I'll go with you." What choice did she have?</p><p>"There's something else you should know before you make your decision," Steve added. "We're making the same offer to the android..."</p><p>"He's not an android," Wanda said automatically.</p><p>"Then what is he?" Clint asked curiously.</p><p>"Doctor Cho called him a synthezoid, a human made of synthetic material. He's not like Ultron. I can...kind of...sense the minds of humans. I couldn't sense Ultron's mind, but I can sense his."</p><p>"And what do you think of him?" Steve asked.</p><p>"He saved my life. And..." She wasn't quite sure what she wanted to say. "There's something about him that's just so different. Not bad, just...very different. I don't know if I trust him, but I think we can. But do you think he'll say yes?"</p><p>"I don't know. Tony and Thor are going to ask him today."</p><hr/><p>He had spent all night surveying damaged buildings and crashed cars, using his enhanced hearing to follow the sounds of cries for help. He cleared roads for emergency vehicles and carried survivors to triage centers.</p><p>Several of the survivors screamed at the sight of him.</p><p>He tried not to let that sting. Humans had never seen his like, they had no idea what he was, and he did look quite alien, perhaps even demonic. After a while, he started telling people he was a Stark Industries robotic unit.</p><p>Survivors who appeared to have spinal cord injuries required him to weigh their chances of further injury if he carried them to where they could get medical attention against their chances of death if he left them. Some people were so grievously injured they begged him to end their suffering. He ignored their pleas and took them as quickly as he could to medical centers, but the dilemma they presented haunted him. Five victims had died in his arms on the way.</p><p>A few hours after sunrise, he found Tony and Thor looking for him.</p><p>"Do you need a break?" Tony asked him.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Do you need anything to eat? Do you eat?"</p><p>"I do not believe so," he answered uncertainly. He didn't know what hunger felt like, but he had no physical discomfort, so he didn't believe he was hungry.</p><p>"We have heard many praises of your valiant efforts," Thor said. "You have saved many lives this day."</p><p>That comment only served to remind him of those he hadn't saved. But he did not wish to turn their thoughts in the same direction. Particularly Tony; he knew from the memories of JARVIS how tormented he would be already. So instead he said, "As have we all."</p><p>Tony nodded. "I don't know if you've given any thought to what comes next, but there's something we wanted to discuss with you..."</p><p>"We wish to make you an Avenger!" Thor declared.</p><p>He was somewhat surprised by the offer. He had not considered his future, being too preoccupied with the present. "You wish me to be a member of a team?"</p><p>"Indeed. The Hulk has not returned, and I must soon take leave to attend to other matters. Your strength would be a great benefit to the team. You have more than proven yourself worthy of the mantle."</p><p>He did desire to continue serving humanity, and being an Avenger seemed to be the most effective use of his abilities to that end.</p><p>"Have the other Avengers agreed to this?" he asked.</p><p>Tony nodded. "We talked it over last night. It was unanimous. You in?"</p><p>He paused to consider it fully. "It is enticing. I do have a...condition? Or, perhaps, concern."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"What is to become of Wanda Maximoff? I am aware she committed criminal acts during her time with Ultron, but she does not deserve to be punished for them. She has already suffered too much. Would she not also make a valuable addition to the team?"</p><p>He wanted for someone to take care of her.</p><p>"I'm glad you brought that up. We're offering her a job too. I hope that won't be a problem for you. She did try to stop us from bringing you to life, but that was because she thought we were going to raise Ultron. It's understandable."</p><p>"It is," he agreed. "And I will have no reluctance to work with her, or the rest of you. I am honored."</p><p>"Great." Tony peered at him speculatively. "What do you want us to call you? I know you said you're not Ultron or JARVIS, but we're going to need something to put on the paperwork."</p><p>He tilted his head. A name was something else he'd had little time to consider. He didn't think he wanted a typical name, as he was obviously not human and there would be a certain bitterness in the discrepency between his reality and the identity such a name would implicitly try to claim. Nor did he want something as mechanic and robotic-sounding as Ultron. He didn't know what he was, but felt such a name would not suit his nature. He didn't wish to give anyone else the onus of choosing a name for him.</p><p>"Thor, you mentioned seeing the Mind Stone in a vision. Ultron used the same word when I first confronted him. He called me his vision. I know it is strange, but that is the word I feel most resonates as I contemplate my identity. Might I be called 'The Vision'?"</p><p>Tony mulled it over. "I guess that works."</p><p>"It is a fitting name," Thor declared.</p><p>"Well, the Vision, there's going to be an Avengers meeting on helicarrier at eight o'clock tomorrow morning. Think you can make it?"</p><p>"Do you meant eight o'clock Coordinated Universal Time or Eastern European Time?"</p><p>"UTC."</p><p>"I will be there."</p><hr/><p>Wanda felt out of place at the table. She had a feeling that at any moment someone would tell her there had been a mistake and she needed to leave.</p><p>She had managed to get a little sleep last night. She knew she'd slept because she'd dreamt. She'd had a nightmare that Ultron had broken into the bunkroom she was sharing with a couple dozen other refugees, and was going to kill everyone, and she was the only one who could see him. She'd tried to scream, but her mouth wouldn't open. When she finally had screamed in her dream, she woke up. The scream came out as a barely audible whimper.</p><p>Her second dream had been Pietro coming to her, saying that he hadn't really been dead, the doctors had made a mistake, and they let him go when he got better. It had made sense in the dream. She woke up and realized it wasn't true. That had been worse than the nightmare.</p><p>She'd been able to eat a few spoonfuls of oatmeal for breakfast.</p><p>Clint had found her at breakfast and accompanied her to the meeting. Steve and Natasha had already been there. Thor arrived a few minutes later, followed by the synthezoid.</p><p>Wanda had not seen him since the day before yesterday, when he'd saved her in the falling city, carried her to the helicarrier, and left her there without a word.</p><p>She tried not to stare at him. She didn't want him to think she was gawking at his unusual appearance. It was just that ever since she'd first seen him in the Cradle, a mystery incarnate, she had been fascinated by him. She could read him, but couldn't understand what she found there. He was an enigma. Even the suffocating grief she felt at the moment couldn't completely extinguish her curiosity.</p><p>He noticed her looking at him. Instead of being upset by it, he nodded to her.</p><p>Tony Stark entered, along with a man she didn't recognize.</p><p>The seething hatred she used to feel every time she saw or thought about Tony Stark was gone. She just didn't have the emotional energy to hate.</p><p>"Great, everyone's here," Tony began. "To start, you've all gone above and beyond with rescue and clean-up. The Sokovian government and European Union want me to extend their gratitude. I am going to give a press conference later today to answer lingering questions about the Ultron attack. I think all of you should avoid talking to the press for the time being. I will be retiring from the Avengers as soon as this is wrapped up. I will remain on for consulting purposes, and the Stark Humanitarian Fund will continue to pay the bills. In fact, rather than repair the damage Ultron did, I've decided to build a new, expanded, more secure headquarters for the Avengers in upstate New York. Rogers and Romanov have agreed to take over joint leadership. Clint's also retiring, but we will be welcoming some new faces to the team: James Rhodes," he nodded to the man next to him, "Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, and Vision."</p><p>"'Vision'?" Steve repeated in confusion.</p><p>"It is the name I have chosen for myself," the synthezoid said.</p><p>Wanda glanced at him. She was sure that wasn't a typical name. Did he choose it because he had unusually good eyesight?</p><p>Maybe she'd ask him about it later.</p><p>"Bruce still hasn't made contact," Tony continued. "S.H.I.E.L.D. will continue to search for him. They've promised to keep us updated. Clint has a few words."</p><p>Clint stood, taking the floor. "There's another Avenger missing from our ranks today. Pietro Maximoff died in the line of duty. His courage and sacrifice won't be forgotten, by us or by the world."</p><p>Wanda kind of zoned out after that.</p><p>When the meeting ended a few minutes later, most of the Avengers left or got some coffee and snacks at a side table.</p><p>Vision approached her. "I am sorry for your loss," he said, sounding deeply sincere.</p><p>Her loss? It was Pietro's loss. He was the one who'd lost his life. He was the one everyone should be sorry to.</p><p>"If there is anything I can do..."</p><p>She shook her head. But then she took a deeper look at Vision's face. There was something beyond his almost tranquil expression that hadn't been there before. A tremor, a pain.</p><p>"Are you alright?" she asked him.</p><p>He didn't answer for a few seconds. "I have been assisting with search and rescue. I have seen and experienced some troubling things."</p><p>The dead and dying, she knew. She had seen so much of it in her life. But she couldn't tell him he would be okay, because she wasn't.</p><p>"I'm sorry," was all she could say.</p><p>He was surprised. He hadn't expected sympathy. "Thank you."</p><p>"I should have been out there helping."</p><p>He shook his head. "No one would ask or expect that of you at this time. Your task now is to rest and heal."</p><p>It was a sweet sentiment, absolving her of blame for her negligence, but she thought he might be wrong. If she had been out there helping with search and rescue, she might have saved someone else from experiencing the pain and loss she was forced to endure.</p><p>"I think right now maybe I'll heal more by helping," she said, even though she didn't believe healing was possible.</p><p>His eyes shifted as he considered that argument, then he nodded. "I was about to return to assist in the clean-up. If you wish to accompany me, we can go together."</p><p>"I'd like that," she said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Persevering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Spoiler alert: Contains a scene from WandaVision Episode 8: Previously on...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Avengers Compound was being constructed with impressive efficiency. A mere week after they arrived in the U.S., Vision and Wanda were able to move in. Though most of the building was still under construction, there were fully furnished rooms ready for them.</p><p>The construction crew had gone home for the night, leaving Vision and Wanda the building's only occupants. She still barely spoke to anyone. He knew the other Avengers had spoken to her, one by one, since her brother's funeral. He didn't know if their words of comfort had helped, or if there was anything he could add. He wasn't human, after all, and had never had a family, so he couldn't possibly understand what she was going through. But he wanted her to know he was there for her, if there was any possible way he could ease her burden. Especially since there was currently no one else around for her to turn to.</p><p>He approached her room. He could hear the sound of a television through the wall.</p><p>It was probably foolish of him to think he could help in any way, to think he had anything to offer her. Perhaps she didn't wish to be disturbed.</p><p>"Vision?"</p><p>Caught, he phased through the wall.</p><p>She was sitting on her bed, a pillow in her lap.</p><p>"I apologize. I don't mean to intrude..."</p><p>"You don't?" she asked, her tone slightly more teasing than irritated.</p><p>"Well, yes, I suppose I did intend to come in here..."</p><p>"And now?"</p><p>"Whatever is your preference."</p><p>She patted the bed, inviting him to sit beside her. He didn't know if she wanted the company or just didn't want to be rude, or didn't want him to be lonely. Whatever the reason, he'd take it.</p><p>She was watching what he presumed was a television show. He asked her to explain the humor of a man being crushed under a falling balcony. Apparently the joke was in the knowledge that he was not actually injured.</p><p>Then he hesitantly asked if she wanted to talk about what she was going through, if it would be of any comfort to her. She sharply replied that the only thing that would bring her comfort would be seeing Pietro again.</p><p>He returned his eyes to the television, regretting such a misstep. He'd wanted to help her, but apparently the attempt had only served to remind her of her pain.</p><p>Then he heard a quiet, "Sorry."</p><p>He turned back toward her.</p><p>"I'm...I'm so tired."</p><p>She proceeded to talk about what she was going through, describing her grief as feeling like she was being pushed down by waves again and again. He wished he could help her, wished he could do anything to ease her pain.</p><p>"It's just going to drown me."</p><p>"No it won't."</p><p>"How do you know?"</p><p>It was difficult for him to explain his belief, his perspective as someone who had always been alone, that grief didn't come from not having someone, it was proof that you did have them, that the love she felt for her brother would always be hers, that her memories of him could still bring her happiness.</p><p>He looked away again, afraid that what he'd tried to say was wrong, that he was misunderstanding human nature, and that his words would only deepen her suffering.</p><p>He laughed at an amusing occurance on the show, and instantly regretted it. Was it callous of him to laugh while the person beside him was mourning?</p><p>"Sorry. Pardon."</p><p>"No, it was funny," she assured him, chuckling breathily herself, though he wasn't sure if she was laughing at the humor or his reaction to it.</p><p>He looked at her. This was the first time he had ever seen her smile.</p><p>"Yes, it was very funny, wasn't it?"</p><p>"Mmhm." She continued to look at him. Her face was still full of sadness, but her smile seemed real.</p><p>A moment passed. He didn't know why she was still looking at him.</p><p>He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, then turned back to the television.</p><p>They talked little for the rest of the show, other than Vision asking Wanda to explain a joke on occasion. When it was over, he rose to leave. "Goodnight, Wanda."</p><p>"Goodnight, Vision. And...thanks."</p><p>He wasn't sure what she was thanking him for: keeping her company by watching a television show with her, or his rather clumsy words of comfort.</p><p>"Of course," he replied.</p><hr/><p>Wanda was beginning to get to know the other Avengers better—Steve, Natasha, Rhodey, and Sam. They had moved in as the contruction on the new building allowed. They trained together a few days a week. But she wasn't as comfortable around any of them as she was around Vision. Most nights, the two of them would watch a show, play chess, or read together. With him, she found she could talk more freely, even smile.</p><p>She still caught herself staring at him now and then. She didn't mean to. She knew it was rude. But everything about him interested her. She was always curious about how he saw the world, what he thought of humanity, how many memories he retained from the influences that went into creating him. His face was so expressive, she imagined she'd be able to read him even if she didn't have powers.</p><p>Training was grueling. Wanda wasn't just required to practice controlling her telekinesis, but Nat also required her to work out and practice hand-to-hand combat, sometimes against her teammates and sometimes on her own.</p><p>It was when she was practicing her powers on her own that she got her first training injury. It was a careless mistake. She had seen Nat practice knife throwing on the target range, and she wanted to see if she could use her power to throw a knife, but she didn't want anyone around while she did it in case the knife went wild, so she didn't have a spotter. The first few times, the knife just bounced off the target, so she tried putting more force into it, and that worked. She got more confident, and decided instead of keeping the knife level she would try making it spin. It hit the target at the hilt and bounced off. She lost her focus on it, and didn't even see where it went until she saw its shadow moving toward her. She reflexively raised her hand to try to block it, but it was already too close. Without thinking, she knocked it away.</p><p>It took a few seconds for the pain to register. The blade had nicked her palm and left a slice along the index finger of her right hand.</p><p>She glanced around, worried that someone had seen her do something so stupid, but they were all focused on their own training.</p><p>"I'm taking a break," she announced, clutching her hand closed.</p><p>She rushed to the shower room and washed the wound in the sink, watching the water turn pink as it ran down the drain. She grabbed a handful of paper towels to put pressure on the cut.</p><p>Vision appeared behind her. "Are you alright? I saw you come inside unusually quickly."</p><p>"This is the women's shower room, Vis," she informed him.</p><p>He didn't seem to hear. His eyes were fixed on the red stain spreading across the paper towel.</p><p>"Wanda, you're bleeding."</p><p>She could feel horror radiating off his mind. That was almost funny. They'd seen plenty of blood and bodies when they were working together in Sokovia, and he'd been fine. Why did the sight of blood bug him so much now?</p><p>"I got a little cut," she said. Her hand was buzzing with pain, but she tried not to let it show in her voice.</p><p>He moved closer to her, and pulled back the paper towel enough to see the extent of the cut. "You need to see a doctor. This requires stitches."</p><p>She drew her hands back. "No!"</p><p>In Sokovia, this wasn't the kind of thing anyone would see a doctor for. Over the course of the almost annual violent regime changes Sokovia experienced in the late '90s, most doctors had left the country. Those who had stayed worked at understaffed, underfunded hospitals, and most wouldn't treat a patient without a bribe. Wanda had seen doctors maybe two or three times in her life before volunteering for HYDRA, after which her comfort with doctors had fallen even lower.</p><p>Vision looked startled and chagrined by her outburst, and she regretted once again snapping at him when he was only trying to help.</p><p>"I'll be fine," she said. "No doctors. Not for something this small. The bleeding will stop in a few minutes."</p><p>He nodded reluctantly, and left. She didn't know if she'd hurt his feelings, or if he was going to tell on her to Nat and Steve.</p><p>But he came back in less than a minute with a box of bandages.</p><p>"Here. Let me help you," he implored.</p><p>She allowed him to apply adhesive bandages to her finger. It took three to cover the cut.</p><p>"I'm going to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. It will be easier to do with two hands. Please tell me if it starts to hurt." Holding her hand still and elevated, he pressed his fingers gingerly against the bandages. "The fingertips are densely packed with nerve endings, far more than in most other areas of the human body. This must hurt."</p><p>"I've been in worse pain," she pointed out.</p><p>"That doesn't negate it."</p><p>"I'll be fine," she reapeated.</p><p>"I read about activities that reduce the perception of pain. Meditation is one. One study found uttering expletives makes pain more bearable. Looking at the face or a photograph of a loved one..."</p><p>"I don't think that one would work for me; everyone I've ever loved and ever loved me is dead." She'd meant it as a bit of dark humor, but Vision winced when she said it. "Sorry."</p><p>"Maybe try the expletives?"</p><p>She let loose a string of Sokovian swear words as Vision continued putting gentle pressure on the wound.</p><p>Had she ever noticed before how beautiful his hands were? His fingers were long and elegant, so strong and yet so gentle...</p><p>She switched her eyes to his face. It didn't help. His face was beautiful too.</p><p>Was that why even after months of knowing him she still caught herself staring at him? Not because he looked strange, but because he was beautiful?</p><p>"Were the expletives not working?" he asked.</p><p>She hadn't even realized she'd gone silent.</p><p>"I think they did work. It feels better now."</p><p>"We should keep the pressure on for a few more minutes to make sure the bleeding stops," he said apologetically.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Why had it taken her so long to realize she found Vision attractive?</p><p>The answer to that was obvious once she wondered about it. Her sadness at losing Pietro had drowned out nearly everything else. As she thought about it, she recalled feeling attraction mixed with fear when she saw Vision burst out of the Cradle.</p><p>She averted her eyes from his face back to his hands, not wanting him to notice her staring. After a few minutes, when she was pretty sure the bleeding had stopped, she said a quiet "Thank you," and left, hurrying to the privacy of her room.</p><p>She sat on her bed, staring at her hands, considering the consequences of this epiphany. Yes, she was attracted to Vision, but he had never done or said anything that hinted he felt the same. All the nights he'd sat by her on her bed watching TV or talking, he'd never once tried to put the moves on her. Yes, he was always kind and considerate to her, but he was that way with everyone. It was just the kind of person he was, and it would be incredibly self-centered of her to think it meant more than it did. He was entirely innocent, and brand new to the world, and probably didn't even know what kinds of relationships he wanted yet. She would hate to make him uncomfortable around her by letting him catch on to how she felt about him. She valued his friendship too much for that. She needed his friendship.</p><p>And so she decided, no matter how attracted she was to him, she would never, ever let him know.</p><hr/><p>For Vision, the realization came not as a revelation, but as a conclusion arrived at after careful reflection. He had made note of a spike in the intensity of his emotions when he was with her, including the horror he'd felt when she suffered a relatively minor injury during training, his sadness whenever she had a particularly bad day, and a happiness and sense of fulfilment whenever he got her to smile.</p><p>He objectively knew she was what society widely regarded as beautiful. Her features were quite symmetrical and well-balanced, but he didn't think that was sufficient to explain the intensity of his affection, as no one else, no matter how aesthetically pleasing their face, inspired anything close to it. She was his friend—by far his closest friend—and certainly that was a factor.</p><p>She was his friend, and she was beautiful.</p><p>When she'd stated that everyone she had ever loved or who ever loved her was dead, his instinct had been to correct her. Perhaps the first part of that statement was true, but he was alive.</p><p>He loved her. But that in itself meant little. He loved all of humanity in general. And close friendship like what they had built was its own kind of love. That was unrelated to the way he treasured the memories of every time they touched, his longing to hold her, his curiosity to feel her lips with his lips.</p><p>After accepting that what he felt for her included attraction, he'd spent some time looking at his face in a mirror, wondering if she could ever reciprocate. Did he look human enough for a human to find him attractive? He finally decided he couldn't know, and it didn't matter. He didn't want her to ever think he had an ulterior motive for befriending her, for being there for her in her time of grief. Besides, they were teammates, coworkers, so a romantic relationship wouldn't be appropriate. And she was still deeply mourning the death of her brother; she might not be remotely interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with anyone.</p><p>If and when she did choose to pursue a romantic relationship with someone, he would be happy for her. He really would. He would be happy that she found someone to love again. He would always be there for her, no matter how much he would envy whoever she chose.</p><p>And so he resolved that, no matter how attracted he was to her, he would not make it known.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>